Afghanistan
by JenniferC16
Summary: Jay meets a figure from his past; how will he handle it?
1. Chapter 1

Jay arched his back on the locker room bench. He hadn't slept in two days and was dead tired. The team had been following nothing but dead end leads in their latest case. They had finally caught a break late last night when one of Dawson's C.I's came forward. The team had been at the arresting scene all night and just returned to the district before dawn broke.

Jay smiled as he packed his bag with clothes from his locker, he felt proud to be part of the Intelligence unit and knowing that one more piece of scum was off the streets, making their work worthwhile. Things had been going good for him. He had earned Voight's permission, Lindsay and he were finally a couple and everyone knew. He finally felt a true part of the unit and the bad days were finally behind him.

He picked up his bag, shutting the locker and heading towards the gate. He was already half-asleep as he shut the gate behind him and walked down the steps. It was early in the morning and the front desk was deserted. The morning shift would just be arriving and soon the place would be a madhouse again. He suddenly heard a booming voice, "Halstead!", the anger in the voice stung him as his eyes shot up and laid upon a tall man, standing in the by the front desk.

Jay froze. His mouth dropped open, going dry and his eyes glassed over. The voices faded out and his mind flashbacked to the desert, the sand, the heat; he was back in Afghanistan.

The man continued to yell to Jay. Mouse came downstairs to hear what all the commotion was about, just to see the man running towards Jay with his hands raised. Mouse couldn't understand why Jay didn't move but instinctively ran down and put himself in between his friend and the attacker.

"Yo, yo. Hey, man, just relax. Back up!"

The man kept coming, yelling profanities and waving his hands. Mouse extended his right hand to keep distance between the man and his left to shake Jay.

"Jay! What's wrong with you? Wake up!"

Jay just stood there with a blank expression, blind to what was happening right before him.

Mouse turned to look at the man, just in time to see his fist heading straight for his face. The blow landed on his cheek which pushed him back a step but he quickly stepped forward and regained his stance. The man angrily charged towards Jay but Mouse threw himself towards the man and landed two blows to his head and they both toppled to the ground. Mouse positioned his legs and his arms around the man, into an armbar maneuver, preventing the man from moving any further.

Platt, arriving to start her shift, came through the front doors and saw Mouse struggling with the man.

"A little help here, Sarge?" grunted Mouse and he put all his strength to keep the man pinned.

She dropped her bag and pulled out a pair of cuffs. "What is going on here?"

When he heard the cuffs lock, Mouse let go of the man and brought him up to his feet. They gave him over to two patrolmen who led him to the cells.

"Jay?" Platt looked at Jay.

"I don't know what's wrong with him", Mouse said, "I've never seen him like this before."

Lindsay came in through the front doors, "Hey, guys. I was just about to leave the parking lot when I realized I forgot my...", she stopped mid-sentence,

"Um, What's going on?"

Mouse quipped, "A lot of people are asking that this morning."

Platt turned and gave him a stern look, "I'm still waiting for an explanation."

He walked over and looked into Jay's eyes, "I was finishing up some reports upstairs and heard yelling down here."

Mouse waved his fingers in front of Jay's eyes, "You in there, buddy?"

"I came down and saw crazy dude heading towards Jay. It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Jay didn't move at all.", Mouse stared at Jay.

"And?", Platt asked impatiently.

"And, I stopped him.", Mouse replied.

Lindsay went up to Jay, shaking his shoulder, "Jay? Jay, wake up!"

"I think we better call Will", Platt said reaching for her phone.

I'll bring him upstairs, Lindsay said, turning his body. Jay took slow steps as she guided him up the stairs.

"I've seen this before." Will said, shining a light into Jay's eyes.

"In returning vets? What is it, PTSD? Shell shock?", Platt anxiously said.

"Well, yes. But I meant with Jay."

"This has happened before?", Lindsay raised her hand to her forehead in worry.

"Yeah, when he came back from Afghanistan. We had a lot going on with the family and I wasn't exactly doing good either." Will dropped his head and twirled the flashlight between his fingers.

"I wasn't there for him like I should have been. But you were.", Will raised his head and nodded towards Mouse.

Mouse was leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. He straightened up and said, "I was just his friend. I didn't want him to go over the edge."

"You were what he needed. You knew what he was going through and you stopped him from going over." Will said, a small smile escaping the side of his mouth. "I'll always be grateful to you for that."

Mouse nodded, shifting his weight, uncomfortable with the attention being directed to him.

"Well, how about Jay, doc? How do we get him to snap out of it?"

Will reached into his medical bag, pulling out a small bottle.

"What's that?", Platt asked.

"Good 'ol fashioned smelling salts", Will answered.

He unscrewed the cap, resting his hand on Jay's shoulder, then waving the bottle underneath Jay's nose.

"Come on, wake up."

Jay started to blink, his eyes focusing in on Will's face. Jay inhaled, the bitter odor biting the inside of his nose, "Ugh!", he exclaimed.

Will smiled, screwing the cap back on the bottle, and then looking Jay straight in the eyes.

"Where have you been, brother?" Will asked quietly.

Jay replied, "Afghanistan."


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you want me to stay?", Lindsay asked.

"No, I'll be fine." Jay walked to the fridge, taking out a beer.

"Are you sure? It wouldn't be a problem." Lindsay followed him and came close to him, studying his face.

He sipped the beer and smiled, running the back of his hand down her cheek.

"Yeah.", he whispered. "I just need to sleep for about a week."

She nodded.

He smoothly added, "And I can't do that when you're here."

She rolled her eyes and playfully hit him on the shoulder.

He let out a chuckle then kissed her.

She pulled away just a little, "Jay, you know, I've never asked about what you went through but I want you to know that I'm here if you need to talk."

He nodded, "I know."

"Seeing you like that this morning scared me. I love you, Jay and I..." she stopped.

He could see the fear in her eyes, "I love you too, Erin. But don't worry. I'll be fine"

He kissed her again.

Lindsay's phone began to vibrate, she pulled it out of her pocket, reading the screen. She sighed, "Voight wants me to meet him."

"He probably wants to know what happened this morning." she said, looking at him, hoping he would open up a little more.

Jay shook his head and opened his mouth to answer but hesitated.

Erin didn't want to push him. "I better go. You're sure you'll be fine?"

Jay nodded.

"And you'll call me if you need anything?"

Jay smiled slightly, " _Anything?_ " he said with emphasis.

She rolled her eyes, turning and heading for the door. "Bye, babe."

"Love you", he called after her.

The door shut.

Jay stood, leaning against the kitchen counter. He tried to recount what had happened that morning. The last thing he remembered was seeing the man by the front desk. He didn't recognize him directly but the voice. The voice was so familiar yet he couldn't place it. Mouse had told Jay how he struggled with the man.

Jay shook his head, exhaling slowly. He couldn't understand why his mind just shut down. He didn't remember a thing. The last thing he remembered was seeing the man at the front desk and then all he remembered was waking up and seeing Will's face. Oh, and that foul smell of the salts. Jay grimaced at the memory of that smell. It had been a long two days the case and the incident; his mind and body was exhausted. All he needed was a hot shower and a good sleep.

*knock - knock - knock*

Jay heard the sound but was in a deep sleep. He didn't want to wake up. He felt at ease, at peace, laying right in his bed.

*knock - knock- knock*

He started to stir, his mind starting to become more aware of the sound. He sighed. He thought of who could be at the door. Lindsay? Voight? Maybe they caught a case. Maybe it was a neighbor. Or a deliveryman. Whoever it was, he hoped they would go away so he could get some more sleep. He glanced at the clock. It read 11:00. Throwing the covers over his face, he let out a slow, groggy groan.

*knock - knock - knock*

"Yo, Jay?"

Jay threw the covers off his face and scoffed.

"Hey, Jay? Up and 'em, man"

The familiar voice made Jay smile, he got out of bed, heading to the door.

"Hey, Mouse" Jay said, opening the door. "What's up?"

Mouse smiled and held up a six pack of beer.

"Beer?" Jay exclaimed. "It's not even 11 o'clock in the morning!"

"Morning? Dude, it's 11 o'clock at night."

"What?" Jay replied, shocked. "I slept all day?"

"Yep", Mouse replied casually, walking into the apartment and plopping down on the couch.

"Detective Lindsay dropped you off at six this morning and she asked if I could check in on you tonight."

" _Detective_ Lindsay? You know you can call her Erin."

Mouse shrugged his shoulders, reaching for two beers out of the pack.

"I can't believe I slept for that long" Jay said, sitting down across from Mouse.

"Voight wanted me to tell you to take as much time as you need."

Jay scoffed, "I'll be back on duty tomorrow."

Mouse raised his eyebrow, "Really?"

Jay look at Mouse, "Yeah… _really_."

There was an awkward moment of silence.

Mouse started to rhythmically tap his fingers on the beer bottle, clicking his tongue to the beat.

"Soooooooo" Mouse said slowly.

Jay knew exactly what Mouse was doing. This wasn't the first time they had a "beer conversation". When Jay had first come back from Afghanistan, there wasn't anyone around. Except Mouse.

They had spent many nights just sitting around drinking beer. Sometimes they would talk about sports or a girl that Mouse liked, the good memories of their time together overseas. Jay found comfort in it. Most people thought that Mouse was the quirky one. The silly one. The goofball. While Jay was head strong one, the steady one. When, in fact, Mouse was the mentally stronger of the two. They had been through the same things, both witnessing the atrocities of war, things that can forever change men. They had been a part of things that they both just wanted to forget.

When Jay had returned, he had no family to turn to. His brother, Will, was battling the bottle and their father wasn't in the picture. Their mother had died years back. Mouse was always there though. Jay had gone dangerously close to the edge. The suicide edge. It was Mouse who had stood by his side and saw him through the darkest period of his life. For that, Jay owed him a great debt of gratitude.

"I don't know exactly what happened this morning" Jay said, staring down the neck of the beer bottle.

"I heard that guy's voice and something in my head just turned off."

"Did you recognize the voice?" Mouse asked.

Jay breathed in slowly, "I've been hearing that voice in my head over and over and…you're going to think I'm crazy but…" He stopped, not wanting to continue.

"You heard Hollingsworth's voice, didn't you?" Mouse said.

Jay looked up, surprised. "Yes."

"But that's impossible. He's dead, Mouse. Am I losing it? I'm hearing a dead man's voice! I'm seeing dead…" Jay abruptly stopped, surprised at what he said.

"I'm seeing dead men! Mouse, I just remembered what that guy looked like. That was Hollingsworth!" Jay's face suddenly went pale.

He stuttered, "That's impossible. Hollingsworth's dead. I…I know he is. I put the bullet in his head myself."

Mouse calmly said, "Jay, relax. You're not crazy."

Jay responded, "I feel like I am."

"You're not. Trust me"

"Listen, you're forgetting we got that guy in a cell at the district."

Jay nodded. "I'm not forgetting."

Mouse added, "You're not nuts, he does look like Hollingsworth. The spitting image. But you and I both know there is no way that could be possible. Hollingsworth is dead and buried. So I did a little checking. Turns out? Hollingsworth had a twin brother.

"You're kidding."

Mouse shook his head, "Nope."

"Hollingsworth never told us that." Jay said, confusingly.

Mouse shrugged, "True. But if you think about it, Hollingsworth never told us much of anything. He was a lone wolf. Remember how he'd always disappear for hours at a time?"

Jay nodded, "Yeah. Never could figure out where he would go to."

"Maybe he had a girl hidden out somewhere" Mouse mused.

Jay raised his eyebrows, "Hollingsworth? A girl? That guy was so by the book he wouldn't take a piss without asking his C.O first."

Mouse laughed.

"So a twin?"

"Yeah."

"Why was he at the district?"

"Well, when Voight found out what happened, he put that guy in the cage and he questioned him. You know, in Voight fashion. So the guy broke and told us everything."

"Apparently, he wasn't satisfied with how the military said his brother died. He just doesn't believe that his brother's death was an accident."

"Did you…tell him how it happened?"

Mouse nodded, "I thought maybe he would take it better from me."

"What exactly did you tell him, Mouse?"

Mouse haltingly answered, choosing his words carefully. "That we were on foot patrol, just another routine foot patrol. Checking the same bombed out buildings, on the same route. We had done it a hundred times before. Hollingsworth was behind me. He said that he heard a noise and went into a bombed out room. You were up top of a building, providing sniper cover for us. Next thing I know, there's shouting and gunshots. I hear Hollingsworth's voice, run into the room and see this bunch of hajis dragging him away. I start taking fire and then me and the squad take cover.

I radio up to you and you tell me that you can't get a shot, that we'd have to drive them out into the open. Sarge orders us forward and the firefight lasts for what felt like hours. We killed off about four of them. There's one left. He uses Hollingsworth as a shield, comes out in the open. Sarge orders you to take the shot as soon as you can. I heard the bullet fire. It happened so fast. Suddenly, another haji jumps out from nowhere, firing. The one who's got Hollingsworth moves and the bullet from your gun hits Hollingsworth in the head. He drops to the ground. Sarge takes out the two hajis.

Hollingsworth was killed by your bullet.

Mouse looked up at Jay. There were tears in his eyes.

"It wasn't your fault, man."

"It's war. Things like that happen. You can't blame yourself."

Jay swallowed hard. "Mouse, it was my job to protect the squad."

Mouse added softly, "Hollingsworth's brother. He believed me. He said he forgives you."

Jay nodded, exhaling hard, and wiping the tears from his face.

"I think I…" He was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Jay? It's me", Lindsay called.

Jay looked at Mouse, who smiled and nodded towards him, gently shaking his knee with his hand and then smacking it.

" _Erin's_ here"

Jay chuckled softly and said "Come on in, door's unlocked."

Mouse stood up and offered her a beer.

"What are you two up to?" she inquisitively asked.

Mouse and Jay looked at each other. A few moments passed.

"Toasting friends!" Mouse enthusiastically said.

Jay stood, "and to life", extending his bottle of beer in the air

"And love", Erin added as the bottles clanked together.

-end


End file.
